There was this guy who worked in Medical who always flirted with me. I think he was a Dental Tech or something. And I say “flirt” but it is probably better described as stalking. I couldn’t swing a dead cat on the John C. Stennis without hitting this guy. He was everywhere. I’m eating in the forward galley, he’s eating in the forward galley. I decide to eat back aft the next day, he’s sitting at the table next to me.
These were the days of don’t ask don’t tell, but this guy wasn’t hiding anything. I will not say his name in this post, but let’s just refer to him as Lip Gloss.
One day I decided to have lunch back aft because they were serving Turkey A-la King, which was my favorite meal on the ship. It was late in the lunch hour so the mess deck was empty and I was sitting at a table by myself.
Lip Gloss never traveled alone. On this day, he brings 3 friends with him and sits down right next to me in a mess deck full of empty tables. Is it politically incorrect to use the term “Gaydar?” Continue reading
The first time I squatted over 400 pounds in a competition was an exciting day for me. I had been out of the Navy for a year and entered a local RAW Powerlifting meet. I squatted 420 pounds and deadlifted 495 pounds that day (my bench is not worth mentioning…yet).
If you lift weights then you know that the day you put three 45 pound plates on each side of the bar is a major milestone. That adds up to a 315 pound barbell. 95% of the world’s population will never bench press, squat, or deadlift a 315 pound barbell. By the time I met Jason and Al, I had been trying to lift to 3 plates on the Squat for 4 or 5 years and just hadn’t been able to break that barrier.
Jason was one of the more senior Reactor Operators in my division and Al was an Electrician’s Mate in Reactor Electrical Division. When I first reported to the USS John C. Stennis, Jason was only about 210 pounds of solid muscle. I probably weighed about 130 pounds, but Jason took an instant liking to me because I was always lifting weights and reading powerlifting books and magazines. He was impressed that I could deadlift over 400 pounds and power clean more than I could bench press.
A lot of people lift weights and work out in the gym, but if you are SERIOUS about moving some heavy iron, then you know that there is an unspoken bond or a fraternity between people who dedicate a good part of their life to just getting stronger. I think this is why me, Jason, and Al really hit it off and became close friends even though we didn’t have much in common. For about 2 years on the John C. Stennis, Jason and I were pretty much inseparable. Al was in a different division, so I didn’t know him as well, but in the gym the three of us we were like brothers.
I started lifting weights when I was 14 years old, but I didn’t really learn how to train until I started working out with Jason and Al. One day, when Jason was about 210 pounds and Al was about 205 pounds, Jason asked me if I wanted to train with them (people who are serious about working out don’t call it working out, they call it training). Jason said he had a plan to get REALLY big and maybe even try out for football at one of the junior colleges in San Diego. At this time, Jason was already the biggest guy in our division, and other than me, there really was nobody who was SERIOUS about lifting weights in our division…yet. Continue reading
The first time I ever got sea sick was just before we pulled in to Hobart, Tasmania circa 1998. We were enduring 90 foot swells in the Indian Ocean and would be making our way to Tasmania in the next day or two. Even in 90 foot seas, a 90,000 ton aircraft carrier doesn’t violently rock back and forth. It just kind of slowly tilts to and fro…just enough to make you nauseous and give you a slight head ache.
I remember sitting in the mess hall and watching my apple go rolling off the table along with everyone else’s lunch. We could have stopped it from falling off the table but it was just the novelty of having the ship rock back and forth that had us transfixed as if we were watching someone else’s lunch fall off the table. I remeber it was at this lunch that my buddy Randy told me that Gay Boy Dave would be hanging out with us during our port visit in Hobart. Continue reading
“It’s not about you. The Purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.” Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life
Jeff Gazaway is a very smart man. People fall into and out of your life. Some will have an impact on your life; some will have no bearing on your life. This is especially true if you ever join the Navy or the military. I didn’t know much about Jeff Gazaway before we met. It was only a random coincidence that we were both assigned to the same duty section. This meant that while the USS John C. Stennis was in port, Jeff was the Load Dispatcher in charge of the ship’s electrical power distribution and I was the Shut Down Electrical Operator (who’s main duty is to keep the Load Dispatcher awake on the Balls to Seven watch).
The thing I remember most about my 6 years in the Navy is that Continue reading
We pulled into Pusan, South Korea sometime around 1999. It might have been 1998 or even 2000, I’m really not sure, but let’s just assume it was 1999 because after a few years all of these port visits seem to run together.
What I do remember is that it was freaking cold. There was snow on the ground and it was windy and freaking ridiculous cold. And none of us had Continue reading
In the Nuclear Program you are going to make some very close friends. This kind of thing always happens when people are all forced to endure the same crappy deal together. There is no other way to say it than that the Nuclear Pipeline really sucks. If you are an enlisted Nuke, your entire career will suck. Period. Boot camp will suck. Nuclear Field A School will suck. Nuclear Power School will suck big harry butt. Nuclear Prototype will suck giant dog butt. Getting qualified and standing watch for the rest of your career will suck slimy, hairy, sweaty, fat, butt! Welcome to the program, and I don’t imagine it’s much better as an officer.
Your friends will make it bearable. One day, you will be deep in the suck, once again getting crapped on by your “leadership,” and Continue reading
I left the Navy in July 2001. I should be rich by now (and maybe even married). There are so many things I wish I would have done differently that would have put me light years ahead of the curve by the time I had been out for 5 or even 10 years. Here’s how to make the most of your time when you are in so that you will hit the ground running when you get out Continue reading
This is a common question for people entering the U.S. Navy Nuclear Program. If you are entering the Navy Nuke Program, nothing will completely prepare you for what you are about to face. When I got to Nuke school there was one day of indoc (indoctrination). Each speaker kept saying, “It’s a big machine, it will run you over.”
If I was sitting in DEP and preparing to enter the U. S. Navy and then go to the Nuclear Power Program, here is what I would do (or what I did). Continue reading
1) Nuke Fallout: anyone who has ever failed out of the Nuke Program or been kicked out of the program aka Lucky
2) GCE: Gross Conceptual Error. You don’t know what the heck you are talking about
3) Shot Gunning: when you don’t know the correct answer so you lay down every piece of knowledge you have ever obtained. This is a great way to fail a Nuke question but a sure way to pass a test in the civilian world.
4) Easter Egging: when you can’t find the fault or problem so you just start taking random voltage readings or just start investigating random possible problems hoping to somehow stumble upon the real problem.
5) 2.5 Knowledge: aka “knows right answer when told.” The minimum amount of knowledge Continue reading
Who Had Sex at Boot Camp?
Near the end of Boot Camp they have amnesty day. That’s when you tell your Division Commander everything that you did behind his back without getting in trouble. The first question he asked us was, “Who got laid in Boot Camp?” Continue reading